Jokes/Funny/Sms/Msgs............

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
that's how dogs spend their lives.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream




This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep!

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket,the smell is unbearable!!!

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one idiot is now holding his mobile in his hand

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
?
Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................]

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.



Everynite as i lie in my bed all i cis those sexy eyes, kissable lips, smooth skin, DROP DEAD gorgeous body!DAM. i've got 2 moveDAT MIRROR FROM MY CEILING

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!


This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience


This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience


ive won a trip for me and 50 mates for 2 weeks aboard a luxury yacht in fiji, inclusive with ?1500 each speandin money.........can you feed my dog while i'm gon?


I was nervous at first, it was big & long it went straight up, i had 2 try it, i eased myself onto it i liked it. I went up & down on it .... NOW I LOVE ELEVATORS!


What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET

A phone call is a form of communication,a kiss is a form of affection,a photo is a form of rememberance having me as a friend is a form of having good taste!

Last night, I wanted you, needed u so badly it hurt. I wanted to taste you, wanted you inside me so you could work your magic on me... but I couldn't find you...... you stupid asprin


?i'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower uwith roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL

I have a confession to make
ever since i met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night i see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST

U have a brain disease. Your brain is in 2 parts, left and right. Left brain has nothing right in it and right brain has nothing left in it.


Its INTERNATIONAL GOOD LOOKING DAY! send this to someone that you think is gorgeous, dont send it to me as I have had 100s already


Q: If a devil catches ur wifr, wat wud u do?
A: U can do nothin. If devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.


God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.


Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.



You?d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

?What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed

?Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last


Keep the school clean ... stay home!


Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!


If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.


What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.


The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist

Some people live because it is illegal to kill them!

Without the rubber tree the whole world would have AIDS

The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?


Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.

When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!


No-one loves hard work more than the one who pays for it.


What do you have in common with your husband ? " We married on the same day."


What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

Getting an other boyfriend or husband is like buying a house. You have to improve yourself.